Bringing the bike back to the UK would mean a busy few days for us. First off, we had to alter our travel arrangements. Being due to stay with my mum in the Isle of Wight over the weekend, it would have been logical to travel via the Cherbourg - Portsmouth ferry, saving ourselves about 3 hours driving over our usual route. Now, having arranged to garage the bike with John’s brother, that advantage would be lost. Moreover, it was not economical to travel on the same ferry. Following the appalling weather this summer, Speedferries were hit by numerous insurance claims for damage to motorcycles caused by rough seas, and no longer carry bikes. However, they remain the cheapest cross channel operator as far as cars are concerned. So while I caught Speedferries’ fast catamaran in Boulogne, John had to take the slower P&O ferry from Calais.

On Tuesday morning, while I stocked up on HP Sauce and Colman’s Mustard, John visited the local Triumph dealers in Carshalton to try and establish the value of his bike … and to see what sort of deal they might be able to offer in the way of part exchange. It is a difficult position John finds himself in. Boxer Bikes in Toulouse could not offer anything for his bike, as it would be impossible to sell on. But they did offer a very attractive finance / insurance package on a new Triumph Tiger. In the event, Carl Rosner offered a decent price for the Trophy, but Triumph UK cannot match the finance available in France … and John would still have had to pay for a new headlight unit before being able to re-register the bike. Regardless, the bottom line is that all this is money that he would rather not be spending at the moment.

Then it was off to collect our medical records for translation, complete our shopping and, er .. umm, hire a suit for John’s meeting on Wednesday. In our efforts to prevent the escape of the cats while loading the car, we had left his own behind in France.

We spent Wednesday morning at Ikea in Croydon. The extremely nice and good humoured Letizia prepared a quote for the required kitchen units, which we then compared (piece for piece) with the one we had for identical units from the Toulouse store. Interestingly, the overall price of the kitchen, had we bought the whole thing from one store, varied by only a few pounds. But price of the individual pieces differs enormously, depending on what the various markets think they can get away with. Few people would be in the fortunate position of being able to buy their base units in the UK and their worksurfaces in France. But, depending on the finish of the kitchen you choose, if you are anal enough to do the maths and your car will withstand the load, you can save a packet.

We bought what we could at Croydon, then John’s daughter and I took a trip out to the Lakeside branch at Thurrock, east of London, for the remaining pieces.

By 5am the following morning we were on the way to Dover for the return ferry. To be completely honest, family aside, we had had enough of the UK and were only too glad to be heading home.