Preparation for the first of what we hope will be many summer holidays ‘ en famille’, i.e. with the cats, is becoming a bit like going back to boarding school. In fact, for retired folk like ourselves, I am beginning to wonder how much of a ‘holiday’ this trip will be.

The problem is ‘lists’.

John is currently sorting through a list of music on his MP3 player, in order to share some of our tracks with his daughter, who has just bought one of her own. Said daughter, meanwhile, has generated a, not insubstantial, list of DIY tasks for Dad and me. Though, bearing in mind Ree and her family have just moved back into her late mother’s home, and we will be spending the majority of our holiday there, it is reasonable to expect to earn our keep in some way. If the truth be known, as Ree’s new home is also the house John shared with his ex, we will be only too glad to help her put her mark on the place. Ooh err …

Thus, knowing what we were in for, John put togethe[1] r a list of tools to take back to the UK.

Speaking of staying in other people’s houses, the cats’ travel checklist currently comprises 26 essential bits and pieces to help them feel at home and, more importantly, to spare our hosts’ furniture and our nerves. Amongst the less obvious items we have included are Bach’s Rescue Remedy, Feliway diffusers, [2] Soft Claws® claw covers, our own biological washing liquid (so at least our clothes smell the same), a bathroom bin and scented liners, and a dustpan and brush. At least Tiggy and The Fog seem to have taken to their [3] Sturdishelter[4] ®.

Then there are shopping lists: one for things we want to take back to the UK and one for things we can’t buy in France. Due, mainly, to the large amount of luggage space we now have to allocate to our two furry princes and their trousseaux, we have cut back somewhat on the quantity of alcohol that we normally import for personal consumption. Conversely, the list of UK shopping has grown as we have gradually discovered things we miss or things we just can’t seem to find in France: digestive biscuits and Colman’s mustard spring to mind, along with the makings of traditional Christmas pudding and fruit cake.

We must not forget Ree’s shopping: Ikea storage jars, a wall clock and pretty lined linen basket, left behind when she flew back to the UK, as well as several items of Alex’s clothing and a red and pink spotted hippopotamus – also left behind.

With limited space remaining in the car for our own clothes, we made up another list. We will need decorating clothes, evening clothes for Cowes Week, clothes for sunny barbeques, and clothes for rainy days in Ireland.

There are also things that, individually, do not warrant a list of their own, but that don’t fit comfortably on any of the other lists: passports, mobile phones, travel cards, cameras, rechargable batteries, etc. So we created a list of those too – and cross-referenced it to the others, just to be on the safe side …

And then, of course, there is a final list of things not to forget to do before we leave: put the recylcing out, bring the bikes in, give our keys to the neighbours, and take the cats to the vet for their tapeworm and tick treatment. I’m already exhausted …